It is Better to Give than Receive

Now, now; not like that! I love birthdays! But only other peoples, choosing to dislike my own and generally portray a grumpy old women. I get so excited and often spend a long time thinking about the best gift and the provision of treats, even if the end result does not match the contemplation period.

In my opinion birthdays, and even Christmas, should never be about money. It should never be about setting out to spend as much as they did on you. What is the point in that? It’s so calculating and materialistic. I knew someone at school who would never give any gifts at Xmas, until she had received presents, thus giving time to look up the value in the Argos catalogue – that is just SO wrong on many different levels.

Birthdays are always difficult if you have been out of touch with someone for a long time. Although you may still care about them, you lose touch as to what really makes them happy, or you plain forget the event! I have been guilty of that. :( In such cases you often get what I call ‘lazy’ gifts. Lazy gifts include:

* Box of chocolates
* Alcohol
* Scented candles
* Gift voucher (THE WORST)
* Pretty stationary (although do people write anymore?)

Now some may ask why I didn’t include socks in this list? Well for me, a pair of bright and well chosen socks is always a pleasure and a fantastic addition to the sock drawer. It’s not that any of the above items are ‘bad’ gifts, but they are ‘I don’t know what to get you, or I haven’t had time’ gifts; unless of course you have a genuine passion for candles and WH Smiths vouchers!

However when it comes to someone you know well, love and really care about, birthdays are a whole different ball game. In this case birthdays are all about effort and not financial outlay. Although I am hardly a creative person, I do like to make presents that is specific to that person. For example for my best friends birthday earlier in the year I (along with help from my Dad) spent many hours decorating some crockery with images of our time together on our last holiday. The drawing was decidedly dodgy, but I feel it’s childlike quality provided amusement if nothing else.

Aside from personal creativeness, ‘experience’ gifts are always good, such as a tank driving day or 4x4 driving lessons; although hugely expensive and only for ultra special occasions. Whether going on an adventure or making a homemade present, both serve the purpose of creating a memory. At the end of the day, you are more likely to remember and cherish the brightly coloured pasta necklace or the picnic in the park 10 years later, than receiving the latest ‘Greatest bump n grind mega hits’. Something with a bit of thought is more preferable to the ‘panic’ buy in Tescos on the way home from work on the day; yes you know who you are!

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT bothered about my own birthday and couldn’t care sixpence about gifts. I just feel if someone really cares then surely we all deserve 5 minutes of thought. I am quite happy with a cup of tea in bed, a kiss and a drawing for the fridge! I would like to say that I always put in effort for every birthday, but I can't. But I am trying to get better!

I hope after reading this the ‘mrs’ doesn’t feel pressurised! It’s her birthday tomorrow, and I really hope she likes her gifts and ‘experience’. I can’t say any more as she will probably read this before then; so ssshhhhhh!!!