The Big Day!

Yesterday was the ‘mrs’ 29th birthday, and I feel a good time was had by all. After all, all the right ingredients were there:

* balloons in various colours and sizes
* streamers
* party hats
* those noisy things you blow
* a homemade cake

Fortunately for me (and not for her) she had to go to work in the morning, which gave me ample opportunity to make a cake. Now I am a cake novice. I have many many skills in cake consumption; especially those of the walnut layered and carrot variety, but making is a no no. Earlier in the week I had consulted the Queen i.e. Delia online, for some spiritual guidance. According to many, making a sponge is a complicated affair, with bits to add here, then cream, then bits to add there, all beautifully timed using the wisdom of Tibetan monks. Being the impatient sort, and lucky for me, the owner of a £6.99 electric whisk, I decided to follow the gurus idea of the ‘all in one’ (http://www.deliaonline.com/cookery-school/how-to/how-to-make-all-in-one-sponge,13,AR.html). Now any recipe that advises you to bung all the ingredients in a bowl and just go ‘whzzzzzzzz’ with the electric whisk is the one for me.

After mixing the ingredients and getting 40% of the mixture up the walls, I carefully spooned this sweet smelling concoction into 2 recently purchased sandwich cake tins (lined using pre-historic GCSE cookery skills). Into the oven it went for 30 minutes while I paced nervously up and down the flat, like an expectant father. After this time had elapsed, I ran to the kitchen to view my creation. Oh the smell was amazing. I could have gobbled it up there and then and pretended I hadn’t got round to making a cake. But in my effort to be a good girlfriend, I left well alone.

After cooling, filling with posh black cherry jam and smothering with BLUE butter icing (again recipe from the BBC), I was ready for the sprinkles! Now some will tell you sprinkles are just sprinkles, but NO, there are many subtle varieties. Originally I was going to use hundreds and thousands; a ‘mrs’ favourite. But during recent scientific exploration it has been discovered that the slightly cylindrical ‘sugar strands’, are much more the order of the day. Not wanting to do things by a halves I gleefully dumped an entire pot over the waiting butter icing. These sprinkles will stick to anything; food, fingers, socks, work tops, walls, floors, clothes and anything else in a 5m radial vicinity. After crunching my way round the kitchen the creation was finally finished.

When she returned from the work, we conducted the traditional societal ceremony of lighting the candles, singing of the song and the applause at the end. In a bid to be amusing, I had used re-lighting candles, that always seemed so magical as a child. As an adult you are less concerned with the magic, and more worried about the massive clouds of smoke created each time you blow and whether the smoke alarm will be activated. Oh I am SO getting old!

After lunch and a quick unscheduled snooze on the sofa, we went down town (feel free to sing at this point), for the 4.30 appointment with a massage therapist which I had a bought as one of my gifts i.e. ‘the experience’ gift. During the procedure, I sat in the waiting area thumbing through copies of ‘hair and beauty’, wondering how ANYONE could expect to live up to the ideology that is being sold. By the time I had finished an article on ‘your acrylic nails and you’ (a nomination for the Pulitzer no doubt), she had finished and looked very relaxed and a bit oily.

Not wishing to go back to the flat quite yet, and fall into the trap of crap food and telly, we decided to take full advantage of living by the sea and have a wonder down for a sit on the beach. After 15 minutes or so of appreciating the view and thinking how lucky we were, we decided to brave the wind and laughter of the drunk homeless people behind us, and go for a paddle. We removed our shoes and socks, rolled up our jeans and proceeded with caution and Indiana Jones style bravery. After a good 40 minutes of running in, running out, laughing and the odd squeal, we made our way back to the car trying to ignore the wet jeans, wet tops and wet pants, but revelling in the weird looks we were receiving.

After squelching our way back to the flat, we showered to remove the ‘sea bugs’ (if you have ever looked at a drop of sea water under the microscope you’ll know what I mean), and settled down for a birthday dinner of fresh pizza and strawberry cheesecake, topped off with some crap Big Brother Telly.

The evening was rounded off by downloading the pictures from day, laughing at getting soaked and dozing off on the sofa. To bed we went after what was a really fun day! I shall make it a point not to wait for special occasions to do silly things. People of the world unite in their silliness!

It is Better to Give than Receive

Now, now; not like that! I love birthdays! But only other peoples, choosing to dislike my own and generally portray a grumpy old women. I get so excited and often spend a long time thinking about the best gift and the provision of treats, even if the end result does not match the contemplation period.

In my opinion birthdays, and even Christmas, should never be about money. It should never be about setting out to spend as much as they did on you. What is the point in that? It’s so calculating and materialistic. I knew someone at school who would never give any gifts at Xmas, until she had received presents, thus giving time to look up the value in the Argos catalogue – that is just SO wrong on many different levels.

Birthdays are always difficult if you have been out of touch with someone for a long time. Although you may still care about them, you lose touch as to what really makes them happy, or you plain forget the event! I have been guilty of that. :( In such cases you often get what I call ‘lazy’ gifts. Lazy gifts include:

* Box of chocolates
* Alcohol
* Scented candles
* Gift voucher (THE WORST)
* Pretty stationary (although do people write anymore?)

Now some may ask why I didn’t include socks in this list? Well for me, a pair of bright and well chosen socks is always a pleasure and a fantastic addition to the sock drawer. It’s not that any of the above items are ‘bad’ gifts, but they are ‘I don’t know what to get you, or I haven’t had time’ gifts; unless of course you have a genuine passion for candles and WH Smiths vouchers!

However when it comes to someone you know well, love and really care about, birthdays are a whole different ball game. In this case birthdays are all about effort and not financial outlay. Although I am hardly a creative person, I do like to make presents that is specific to that person. For example for my best friends birthday earlier in the year I (along with help from my Dad) spent many hours decorating some crockery with images of our time together on our last holiday. The drawing was decidedly dodgy, but I feel it’s childlike quality provided amusement if nothing else.

Aside from personal creativeness, ‘experience’ gifts are always good, such as a tank driving day or 4x4 driving lessons; although hugely expensive and only for ultra special occasions. Whether going on an adventure or making a homemade present, both serve the purpose of creating a memory. At the end of the day, you are more likely to remember and cherish the brightly coloured pasta necklace or the picnic in the park 10 years later, than receiving the latest ‘Greatest bump n grind mega hits’. Something with a bit of thought is more preferable to the ‘panic’ buy in Tescos on the way home from work on the day; yes you know who you are!

Don’t get me wrong, I am NOT bothered about my own birthday and couldn’t care sixpence about gifts. I just feel if someone really cares then surely we all deserve 5 minutes of thought. I am quite happy with a cup of tea in bed, a kiss and a drawing for the fridge! I would like to say that I always put in effort for every birthday, but I can't. But I am trying to get better!

I hope after reading this the ‘mrs’ doesn’t feel pressurised! It’s her birthday tomorrow, and I really hope she likes her gifts and ‘experience’. I can’t say any more as she will probably read this before then; so ssshhhhhh!!!

Happiness is having a Hot Mate

Although I will concede that the ‘mrs’ is indeed totty with a nice ‘piece of arse’, what I am referring to is my gift of the century. Forget jewels, flowers, chocolates and a trip on the Orient Express, my women knows how to make me happy. A JML Hot Mate!

This £3.99 wonder is so fantastic. I am a huge fan of gadgets but find that after the initial fiddle (now now people), all they do is create a platform for dust to gather. However this now takes pride of place on top of the microwave.

Having the current employment status of a ‘bum’, I often spend the afternoon trying to create something edible (ish) for the evening. This means I can plate up the dinner, have all the washing up done and everything can be all neat and tidy before the ‘mrs’ comes home. Plus I find sauces taste better when they have been sitting for a few hours. Unfortunately when heating up the dinner, I can only microwave one plate at a time, which due to the asbestos quality of my food, can make heating two meals a very time consuming affair. In addition, in order to eat together someone has to wait for the other one to be ready, while their dinner is getting cold. Hardly an ideal situation.

But now, THANKS to those lovely people at JML (fab gadgets at cheap prices), I can now microwave 2 meals at once. Life doesn’t get much better than this! Feel free to check out the advert on the JML website http://www.jmldirect.com/product.php?cid=5&pid=251 and spread the joy!

I am not a materialistic person, but THANK YOU for my present. X