The Picture Speak for Itself

Here is a picture of my most recent purchase. Rainbow welly boots. What more can I say, than fabulous!

Who knew B&Q could be so funky!

Christmas Has Escaped!

Oh dear; it’s happened. This morning I saw my first Christmas products in the shop to buy; chocolate santas and Christmas puddings. Why is it that as soon as there is a ‘ber’ at the end of the month and the first leave turns slightly brown, every shop seems to become festooned with gordy cardboard adverts with printed holly.

I am not being ‘bah humbug’ or anything, but don’t you get tired of the swimming costumes and t-shirts suddenly being replaced with crackers and tinsel. Come on people, it’s September. I don’t want to see anything until at least after Bonfire Night. No matter how much you try and suppress Christmas until you absolutely have to, it always seems to escape far too early. I support we have the joys of 3 months of Christmas adverts to drive me crazy. As we get closer to the season of giving, I almost crave normal adverts with no jingle bells or fake snow. Come back shake’n’vac, all is forgiven!

What I fail to understand is when there are edible Christmas products in the shops with the words ‘perfect for Xmas day’, such as mince pies, displaying a use by date is in ovember. Personally I like mince pies, and don’t see why they can’t be available all year round, but surely this is false advertising.

I am not anti-Christmas; I'm just anti-Christmas RIGHT NOW!

Okay rant over!

Is The Whole Nation Lazy Cooks? - RANT

Don’t get me wrong, I am certainly not one for pouring over pots and pans for hours; in fact if I can do everything in the one pan in 20 minutes, I will. I was in Lidl this morning when the guy in front of me was buying some microwave rice in a foil packet. The man at the checkout was really interested, stating that he would have to get some. His reasons were:

1. I can’t be bothered to wait for the 15 minutes for the rice to boil.
2. The curry I make takes 20 minutes and I don’t want to wait an extra 15 for the rice.
3. Saves using a pan

Okay I have some issues. Firstly pasta and rice are one of the cheapest ingredients around and I think it’s just criminal to spend at least 10 times the price on a 2 minute product. Secondly why does this young man have to wait an ‘extra’ 15 minutes on top of the curry. Now here’s a bright idea. I know it will seem a bit radical, but how about cooking the rice and the curry at the SAME time. I know my ideas are just out there!

I will subscribe to the fact that he might not be able to cook two things at once if he only had a hot plate, but on the basis that he wants to buy microwave rice, I conclude that he does at least have a microwave. In this case he can make ‘jug rice’, which is a personal favourite of mine. Take a large pyrex jug, or even a large bowl, throw some rice in, cover with boiling water and pop in the microwave for high 12-15 minutes. Drain and then use the same bowl to eat out of. Less washing up and the bowl will already be hot keeping the food warm. The same can be done with pasta.

Now I know some may shout at me saying how quick it is if you are really hungry, but surely anyone can wait 12 minutes. My suggestion is that if you come in REALLY hungry, pop some rice or pasta in the microwave, then take off your shoes, hang up your coat, have a wee, go through the junk mail and pet the cat. By the time you have done all this you will hear ‘ping’ and dinner is served!

As a nation I think we are becoming lazier and lazier. We shall be breeding a generation of people who thinks the only way to have lasagne is to buy it ready made, don’t know that chips come from potatoes and that milk comes, not from cows, but Tesco! A few years ago I was at the checkout in Asda buying a huge 5kg bag of pasta, when the checkout lady (who was estimated to be about 25) said “oh I’ve heard of pasta is it nice?”. She then asked me how to cook it and what you have it with. How can you have got to 25 and not eaten pasta? I applaud the fact that she was interested in trying new things, but come on people put down the home fries!

Ooops - Clumsy Me!

I am without a shadow of a doubt a clums moo. This is a great skill built up over many years due to intense training. Today was another me classic, where I managed to break the ‘mrs’ phone charger by sucking it up the Dyson and ripping it in two. The strange electrical smell was rather interesting. I do feel sorry for the ‘mrs’ having the live with me. I have broken glasses, two dishes, two toilet seats (okay one, which I broke twice) and a radiator. Not bad going.

Not only am I clumsy but I am electrical. Seriously I am. I can blow light bulbs just by turning on the light. I don’t mean coincidence, I mean repeatedly. I was always frightened working in an office because I got electrical shocks from photocopiers, door handles, chair legs, filing cabinets and other people. I tried various experience with different kinds of shoes, floor surfaces and clothes but to no avail. I always close the car door with a sleeve over my hand, with my foot or by pushing the glass, in response to some bad electrically experiences. Don’t even get me started on shopping centres. I swear those escalators act as some of huge Van der Graff generator that discharges itself on me, when I reach the metal railings at the top. In addition people scare me. People should learn to stay away as it often results with being shocked when handed something. Maybe it’s just my magnetic personality – boom boom!

It was suggested once that I could have some dyspraxic tendencies especially as it ties in with the need for social justice. I looked up the symptoms, one of which was difficulty in communicating verbally, so I thought this was definitely not me. If there was a metal for talking I was be a gold medal winner. Nothing deep and meaningful you understand!

I just have to reside to the fact that I am a person that must always have household insurance and a good broom to hand!