While we sup our mug of de-caff brew (1 sweetner optional depending on mood), let us take a moment to ponder the notion of farts. I appreciate that an initial blog is usually all about introductions; who am I? why am I writing this? etc etc; however after finding 'The Little Book of Farting' on the bedroom floor, I just had to take a moment to comment on this great work of literature.
Now according to the bible of farting, men fart between 15-17 times in a 24 hour period, while women can only manage 8-9. So why is this? I can not see any biological reason why this could be the case. Is it a social and not biological reason? Women are not 'supposed' to fart, so maybe the farts are saved up (resulting in uncomfortable stomach grumbles) and only released on the toilet during tea breaks at work. Men however, seem to produce 'air biscuits' where and whenever the mood takes them; in fact other men would compliment them on the pitch, duration and odour of their erruptions.
So I appeal to all fellow geeks out there, in helping me conduct a little scientific experiment. Please keep a note of the number of farts you produce in any 24hr period, and let me know the number, your gender and whether you are a vegetarian or not. Now night time farts during your slumber can not be monitered, however if you share your bed with someone maybe they could inform you of any unconcious trumping.
Thank you from the bottom of my bowel and happy farting!
Where's me brew?
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About Me
- teawench
- I'm 245 years old with far too much time to sit and ponder the world away. mmmmm
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2 comments:
Ever willing to help out, I've been monitoring my gaseous expulsions over the course of the last day. Slightly at odds with the findings detailed in your blog, I have to report that I have farted not once in the whole of the last day.
I was surprised as anyone by this, but then I remembered that I'm a homosexual and that such things are frowned upon by such a notoriously discreet and quiet group of people as we. Ahem.
Actually, I did at one point think that something had been expelled down below, but it turned out to be the builders in the yard outside cutting through the gas mains.
Hello, by the way - lovely to see you joining the rest of us in blabbering on about all sorts of crap online. Long may it continue!
In the usual course of the day, I fart many times, all of which vary in mass, length, sound and of course potency.
I have to admit that I really like to indulge in the art of escaping gas. Never in public or in a way that gets me noticed by people, unless it is with a select person of whom I have had many farting competitions with.
My most favourite time to enjoy farting is when I am watching telly in the evenings after dinner. Due to the way that I am slumped in front of the box, I am able to produce some pretty good trumps that are reasonably lengthy and sometimes rather stinky too.
I also find that I fart more often when I'm a certain make of car. This doesn't happen as often when I'm driving any other car. Could it have something to do with the design of seat? Or maybe it has something to do with the suspension that helps with the release of such gases as I drive over humps and bumps in the road?
Is it just me, or does anyone else experience...
That when I fart I often subconsciously sniff the air until I can smell it. Nothing wrong in that - is there? In all honesty I find that my own fart doesn't smell too bad, whereas anyone elses smell is not at all pleasing.
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