Settling In

Well I am proud to say that I had a productive weekend. The ‘mrs’ and I finally have a lounge that we can call ours. It was not easy trying to fit the accumulated possessions of two pre and post 30 year old women into a one bedroom flat. However using our combined efforts and my love of labelling we have finally managed to fit everything into place and got rid of 4 bin bags of stuff in the process.

It all fits on one condition. Neither of us are EVER allowed to buy anything else. No gifts, so treats, no purchases of anytime unless they can be consumed! Although I say it all fits, I haven’t even thought about all the DVD’s and videos that still reside in the old house; bum! Oh well the dream was nice.

Nothing else to report, except that it’s going to be Brighton Pride THIS Saturday which should be very enjoyable. I love the parade; it’s my favourite bit. It's not that I get all political; I just love the colours and seeing people just be themselves, or a slight camped up version of themselves. It's FAB. This is a picture from last year.

Two men in pink pants and sailors hats riding a tribute float to Barbara Windsor. Does one need anything more in life? Answers on a postcard.

Bye Bye Johnny!

So as mentioned before I have moved all my stuff into the flat. We had a very successful re-arranging sessions and things are where they should be. Unless I become superman, they will NOT be moved again. This weekend has been put aside for sorting everything out; trying to merge our possessions. Instead of my place for CD’s and her place for CD’s we are going have a place for CD’s. I am not stupid, and will be putting a small sticker on the back of all of mine, to avoid future arguments if we ever get ‘divorced’. This is not being cynical. It’s being practical. It worked a treat after I got divorced for real! So currently I am living in a bit of a mess until the weekend. I have moved all my stuff into a corner and covered it in a sheet so I can pretend it’s not there. I really want to put it away, but it has to be ‘our’ decision and not mine; boo hoo!

With so much stuff I have been quite ruthless in what I really need and have sold a few bits. I am sorry to say that I had to say goodbye to Johnny my anatomical skeleton which I managed to sell at the ‘mrs’ place of work for £80. I couldn't justify using him just as an expensive wig stand! I think the buyer had a friend or child studying sports science or something. I have also sold an ECDL course book for £20. One hundred pounds for 2 things I wasn’t using. Considering I did have 36p in my account, this has come somewhat as a boost! I have written the cheques in the ‘mrs’ name as I feel so bad she’s been buying the food for the last couple of weeks which is my job.

So this week I have been really busy. I have been to two training courses to help with my new voluntary job as a mentor working with young people at the risk of offending. I have completed the training, had the interview and now attending additional training, which is always useful. The first day was about personal safety, i.e. how to keep yourself face when working alone. The second day was about challenging homophobia, especially as it seems very much the fashion amongst young people that everything is ‘gay’, to mean bad. For example “your mobile is SO gay”, or “I hate maths, it’s so gay”. Although the comments are not always directed at anyone who is gay, but it’s using the term in a derogatory manner. Such a shame, as the word used to mean being happy, such as in the 1934 film ‘The Gay Divorcee’ with Fred Astaire.

Anyway this is just a short blog to say goodbye to Johnny. You served me well and you will be missed.

The 'Mrs' prefers Magic boy

So peeps, what have I been up to these days? I have been in the process of moving the rest of my stuff to the flat. How can I have accumulated so much stuff when I am so ruthless about what I keep. But I suppose one 70 litre suitcase just filled with photo albums is probably excessive. Photos and record keeping of my life has always been important. My great nan once said to me that when you get older the only thing you’ll have left in your memories. When I get to the age she was I want to have a record of my memories, just in case I forget.

Anyway I have finally moved the last of my stuff up to the flat and now have the unenviable task of trying to figure out where everything goes. I do have a few items which are not ‘run-of-the-mill’ and not so easy to store. How many people do you know with a cycle trainer and a life size 5ft 6 skeleton in their possession. Maybe it should have been something I mentioned to the ‘mrs’ before we got together. Ah well, I’m hoping love really is blind!

I couldn't have moved all my stuff without the ever faultering and always gratefully received help from my dad. Not only come to drop off some furniture but also did some manly things to the car involving tools and swarfega! GRRRRRRRR Quite a few people stopped to ask what was going with someone blow torching in the middle of the street; but hey it's a great way of finding out who's in the community! THANK YOU DAD!

Aside from that things have been pootling along fine. We are still going to ballroom classes and tripping the light fantastic. We need much work on the pivot turn which we can try and do in the flat without annoying the old bat downstairs. I was disappointed to find out that there would be no ballroom dancing at my sisters wedding in September. Who can we show off to?

Today I am mostly being ignored as SOMEONE, mentioning no names, has the new Harry Potter book. Yes we were there at Tescos just before midnight hovering around the book stand waiting for the boxes to be opened. I was surprised how many people were there. The air was filled with anticipation, like waiting for a big movie star or something! I have never read the Harry Potter books myself and have fallen asleep through at least 2 of the films. However what I will say, is it’s so refreshing to see the public being excited about books, rather than celebrity this that and the other. Best of all children really wanting to engage with reading. What ever you think of the Potter series, you can’t deny it’s benefits.

She’s been in the loo now for 20 minutes, supposedly just going for a wee!

But I want to eat it NOW!!

Okay I said I was going to try and be positive, but I think I am overdue for a rant. The chosen topic for today is fruit. Why can’t I go into a supermarket, buy a punnet of plums and eat them. Why do I have to leave them in the sunshine for a few days or even a week. So you don’t complain they tell you in advance with a ‘ripen at home ‘sticker.

I appreciate that fruit is picked in some country a million miles away while it is still green and containing no natural sugar, packed into steel containers, sprayed with some sort of gas (ether in the case of bananas) to produce a ripe colour (but not flavour), then packaged and stuck on our shelves. This fruit is hard and tasteless. I would like to buy the local produce in the supermarkets but it’s hard to find and generally much more expensive. Mad that fruit 10 miles down the road is more expensive than a million miles away!

I should look more for farmers markets. But let’s be honest here we all creatures of convenience and like to get most of their stuff from one place. If I want quality I should make the effort. I am pasting this link of farmers markets in east sussex for myself as a reminder. http://www.eastsussex.gov.uk/leisureandtourism/foodanddrink/farmersmarkets/farmersmarkets.htm

If you know of any good ones, let me know!

Lighting and rain and hail; oh my!

Well last night was exciting. I can’t remember the last time I saw hail in July. About 8pm the sky came over really dark and then the rains came. After managing to close the windows, and noticing the rain still coming in all over the kitchen floor I did contemplate building an ark. Okay it didn’t help that I wanted to open the window to see if I could catch some hail. I did achieve this aim, and watched the small blob of ice melt on the cooker still residually warm from the bolognaise cooked earlier.

For the next 30 minutes I was treated to torrential rain interspersed by sheet lightening, time and time again. BANG BANG BANG. We turned off all the lights so we could reap the full benefits of this free light show. See, I don’t need a PS2 for entertainment! I suppose it's global warming working it's magic!

Pain you Pay For!!

Dear readers, this evening I shall be embarking on a well over due visit to the dentist. Every time I go to the dentist I always have to have something done. I floss and brush 2-3 times a day, but still the axe always falls on my neck. Last time I went I had to have a small filling on the side of a tooth because I had slightly lowered the gum line because of BRUSHING TOO MUCH. Make up your mind!

Anyway due to some sensitivity I have been feeling lately (and I don’t mean crying over animal hospital which is always traumatic) I feel I shall have to ensure yet another filling. Don’t you hate it when they give you an injection and say “you’ll just feel a slight scratch”; yes like a slight scratch from an jack hammer. They should all be done for perjury.

The ‘mrs’ is going too because she hasn’t been for years. Despite this and reaching the ripe old age of 29 she has a total of 0 fillings, not even one hiding at the back. Life is so unfair. I have so much metal in my mouth it’s a wonder I don’t stick to the fridge!

I shall report back later with the outcome.

UPDATE: Yeah, I didn’t have to have a filling for the first time in my life; neither did the ‘mrs’ but she has a charmed life in the dental region. The dentist did comment that “I brush very well”; ooo a compliment. I would like a signed dental certificate with this statement on. I know not a talking point at dinner parties but a reason to be proud. The ‘mrs’ had a quick clean and polish which caused some pain and resulted in a temporary grump.

Right I’m off to clean my teach as I am so good at it!

A Fortnight of Firsts

Well it’s been a while since I have blogged, and obviously the nation is waiting in baited breath to see what mind blowing adventures I have getting up to. Well nothing that will change civilisation as we know it, but there have been a few firsts; good and bad:

Cinema: The ‘mrs’ and I went on our first outing to the cinema to watch Shrek 3. We saw it on the preview weekend on a Saturday afternoon, so you can imagine how many small people were there. Despite wanting this to be a positive blog, I am going to have a rant here. As part of the Shrek promotion every child received a pair of FREE shrek ears with their ticket. When I asked if I could have a pair I was told “NO” because they only came with a child ticket. NOW HANG ON A MINUTE! I paid nearly twice the price for my adult ticket so by rights those ears should be mine. Don’t assume that just because I am an adult I wouldn’t want to have some fun with a pair of green felt ears. I did think about mugging a small child but then thought better of it. After the film had finished I waited until everyone had left the auditorium, but unfortunately no careless child had left any behind; just a frightful gunky mess of popcorn and spilt drinks! I feel discriminated against for the movie industry amusing I was a mature adult – the cheek!

Massage: As part of a ‘buy one get one half price’ promotion at the salon, the ‘mrs’ treated me to an Indian head massage. I had never had a massage before and was a bit anxious on what they would do. However an Indian head massage didn’t sound that invasive. Anyway I arrived and went into a room the size of the CBBC broom cupboard (those of you over 25 will know what I mean), and was greeted to candles, pan pipe music (like you hear in hippy shops) and the smell of lavender oil. I took off my t-shirt and wrapped myself in a towel and placed my feet onto a rolled up towel on the floor. I was then subjected to 45 minutes of pressing, squidging, pummelling and rubbing on my head, neck, shoulders, upper back, hands and arms (a bit odd for a head massage!). It was a bit awkward when the CD stopped and she had to change it with oil covered hands. I kept thinking “poor sod, I bet she’s listened to this 400 times today already”!. I left feeling all sleepy and quite relaxed and ready for an afternoon of doing nothing at all!

Chinese meal: As part of the spontaneous ‘let’s pamper me day’, after the massage I was treated to a sit down meal as a Chinese restaurant. Technically this was not our first sit down Chinese together, but last time we had a meal as a foursome with two friends, so I am calling this ‘our’ first Chinese meal on a technicality (ooo I could be a lawyer). The restaurant had a special lunch time menu, which was beyond appalling for vegetarians. After telling the waitress that it wasn’t really suitable and we should go somewhere else, she suddenly gave us the full menu and said we could choose anything and she would count it under the lunchtime special. Ha ha, the power of the vegetarian – I wonder if I should get a cape and sword! After scoffing satay mushrooms, black bean tofu with noodles and battered pineapple we returned to the flat cursing ourselves for not bringing the car and having to walk up the hill.

Books: Now reading a book is not a first for me, but it is a first in many years. I am not a big reader, choosing the lazy option of a film every time, allowing the story to be fed to me with no effort on my part. Being an unemployed bum at the moment and having some moments where I need to kill time, the ‘mrs’ introduced to me to the idea of books. After the initial shaking in my boots, she persuaded me to read ‘The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time’ by Mark Haddon. It is sold as a mystery book, but really it is a wonderful insight into the mind of the 15 year old Autistic boy who is telling the story. Having spent a few years with Autistic young people, much of it made me smile in recognition. It is a very good book, with good font size and line spacing, which I think is often just as important as the content! I am now reading ‘Does my Bum Look Big in This’, which is the diary of a 30 something and her thoughts about dating and views on her own body and self esteem. If this is a true reflection on how women think….god help us all! I think this paranoid women is boarding on schizophrenia! Still an interesting read even just as a social insight. Nearly 2 books in a week; this is SO not like me!

Hotel: The ‘mrs’ and I had our first night away together than didn’t involve staying with relatives, friends or sleeping under canvass! She had a conference to attend some distance away warranting a night away in a Travel Lodge (o.k. not really a hotel). Not one to throw the away the opportunity for some free shower caps (good for dying ones hair) I decided to tag along. Not much to report really, except there was no free shower caps – BUM! The ‘mrs’ wasn’t happy with the standard of the room and rated it 2/10 in customer feedback. The bed was over soft, the room was dusty and being on the ground floor we couldn’t open the window. Still it does go down as a first!

Missed Opportunities: Due to other commitments and forgetting we both managed to miss our ballroom dancing class. There is often repetition from the week before, and although we were learning some new moves I reckon that because we are so bloody good (couch cough) we should be able to catch up easily. Secondly we forgot to put out the bins and so we have 2 weeks works of rubbish and recycling stacking up. Ooops we shouldn’t have prioritised sleeping over putting out the rubbish! Sorry forgetting these, is another first!

Pancakes: Although this might be scraping the bottom of the barrel saying it was the first time the ‘mrs’ and I had pancakes together, but I feel there was real significance. She was adamant she not going to cook the pancakes as all attempts in the past had resulted in a battery splodge in the middle of the pan. With some encouragement and tips on the best way to wiggle the flippy thing (I think it’s called a spatula, but answers on a postcard please), we had success. She cooked 7 pancakes all of which were perfect, so BIG gold stars for her. Does that mean from now on I can sit on the sofa watching morning television waiting to be served? Mmmm possibly not!

Let's see what happens next week!