It's called art, lovey!

The greatest invention ever to grace the face of this planet – SOAP CRAYONS! I can tell by your sudden intake of breath you are as excited as I was. What a fantastic invention. Living on the cutting edge of technology as I do, this flat has had the crayons for some time, but I feel I can be selfish no more, and spread the joy to the world!

So what are soap crayons? Unless your IQ is below 10 you have probably worked out that they are crayons made of soap! So what are they for? Oh just so many things.

1. You can draw on yourself making pretend tattoos
2. Write profound and thought provoking messages on the bathroom wall
3. Wash with them
4. Create works of art as great as the Sistine chapel
5. Improvise home made tiles
6. Play noughts and crosses or handman with other toilet users
7. Let your child go mad with self expression
8. …or just draw silly pictures!

Please bear in mind that who ever visit this flat has to by LAW contribute to this ever growing piece of conceptual and organic art!


I insist that in order to fulfil your own artistic destiny you must all rush out and buy your own Crayola soap crayons. Go NOW. Don’t even both to stop and have a wash. GOOOOO!

Settling In

Well I am proud to say that I had a productive weekend. The ‘mrs’ and I finally have a lounge that we can call ours. It was not easy trying to fit the accumulated possessions of two pre and post 30 year old women into a one bedroom flat. However using our combined efforts and my love of labelling we have finally managed to fit everything into place and got rid of 4 bin bags of stuff in the process.

It all fits on one condition. Neither of us are EVER allowed to buy anything else. No gifts, so treats, no purchases of anytime unless they can be consumed! Although I say it all fits, I haven’t even thought about all the DVD’s and videos that still reside in the old house; bum! Oh well the dream was nice.

Nothing else to report, except that it’s going to be Brighton Pride THIS Saturday which should be very enjoyable. I love the parade; it’s my favourite bit. It's not that I get all political; I just love the colours and seeing people just be themselves, or a slight camped up version of themselves. It's FAB. This is a picture from last year.

Two men in pink pants and sailors hats riding a tribute float to Barbara Windsor. Does one need anything more in life? Answers on a postcard.

Bye Bye Johnny!

So as mentioned before I have moved all my stuff into the flat. We had a very successful re-arranging sessions and things are where they should be. Unless I become superman, they will NOT be moved again. This weekend has been put aside for sorting everything out; trying to merge our possessions. Instead of my place for CD’s and her place for CD’s we are going have a place for CD’s. I am not stupid, and will be putting a small sticker on the back of all of mine, to avoid future arguments if we ever get ‘divorced’. This is not being cynical. It’s being practical. It worked a treat after I got divorced for real! So currently I am living in a bit of a mess until the weekend. I have moved all my stuff into a corner and covered it in a sheet so I can pretend it’s not there. I really want to put it away, but it has to be ‘our’ decision and not mine; boo hoo!

With so much stuff I have been quite ruthless in what I really need and have sold a few bits. I am sorry to say that I had to say goodbye to Johnny my anatomical skeleton which I managed to sell at the ‘mrs’ place of work for £80. I couldn't justify using him just as an expensive wig stand! I think the buyer had a friend or child studying sports science or something. I have also sold an ECDL course book for £20. One hundred pounds for 2 things I wasn’t using. Considering I did have 36p in my account, this has come somewhat as a boost! I have written the cheques in the ‘mrs’ name as I feel so bad she’s been buying the food for the last couple of weeks which is my job.

So this week I have been really busy. I have been to two training courses to help with my new voluntary job as a mentor working with young people at the risk of offending. I have completed the training, had the interview and now attending additional training, which is always useful. The first day was about personal safety, i.e. how to keep yourself face when working alone. The second day was about challenging homophobia, especially as it seems very much the fashion amongst young people that everything is ‘gay’, to mean bad. For example “your mobile is SO gay”, or “I hate maths, it’s so gay”. Although the comments are not always directed at anyone who is gay, but it’s using the term in a derogatory manner. Such a shame, as the word used to mean being happy, such as in the 1934 film ‘The Gay Divorcee’ with Fred Astaire.

Anyway this is just a short blog to say goodbye to Johnny. You served me well and you will be missed.

The 'Mrs' prefers Magic boy

So peeps, what have I been up to these days? I have been in the process of moving the rest of my stuff to the flat. How can I have accumulated so much stuff when I am so ruthless about what I keep. But I suppose one 70 litre suitcase just filled with photo albums is probably excessive. Photos and record keeping of my life has always been important. My great nan once said to me that when you get older the only thing you’ll have left in your memories. When I get to the age she was I want to have a record of my memories, just in case I forget.

Anyway I have finally moved the last of my stuff up to the flat and now have the unenviable task of trying to figure out where everything goes. I do have a few items which are not ‘run-of-the-mill’ and not so easy to store. How many people do you know with a cycle trainer and a life size 5ft 6 skeleton in their possession. Maybe it should have been something I mentioned to the ‘mrs’ before we got together. Ah well, I’m hoping love really is blind!

I couldn't have moved all my stuff without the ever faultering and always gratefully received help from my dad. Not only come to drop off some furniture but also did some manly things to the car involving tools and swarfega! GRRRRRRRR Quite a few people stopped to ask what was going with someone blow torching in the middle of the street; but hey it's a great way of finding out who's in the community! THANK YOU DAD!

Aside from that things have been pootling along fine. We are still going to ballroom classes and tripping the light fantastic. We need much work on the pivot turn which we can try and do in the flat without annoying the old bat downstairs. I was disappointed to find out that there would be no ballroom dancing at my sisters wedding in September. Who can we show off to?

Today I am mostly being ignored as SOMEONE, mentioning no names, has the new Harry Potter book. Yes we were there at Tescos just before midnight hovering around the book stand waiting for the boxes to be opened. I was surprised how many people were there. The air was filled with anticipation, like waiting for a big movie star or something! I have never read the Harry Potter books myself and have fallen asleep through at least 2 of the films. However what I will say, is it’s so refreshing to see the public being excited about books, rather than celebrity this that and the other. Best of all children really wanting to engage with reading. What ever you think of the Potter series, you can’t deny it’s benefits.

She’s been in the loo now for 20 minutes, supposedly just going for a wee!